Where Aren't They Now: 32

Did you know there are professionals trained exclusively to maintain funhouse mirrors? That's how Will makes his living-- anyone in the carnival business knows the half-dozen people who specialize in this maintenance.

Will stumbled into this job-- how else might one get in?-- but immediately fell in love with it. Did you know, for instance, that you can't use standard Windex on these mirrors? The glass is of a different nature, for one thing, and any streaks on the mirror make the intentional warp effect less pronounced.

Will also builds the mirrors on the side. He has created some gorgeous pieces that can make you look lonelier, more at peace, or just tanner.

Where Aren't They Now: 31

As far as he knows, Gary invented " void astronomy" (also known as "inverstronomy").

Void astronomy is the classification of the sky based on the space and shape between constellations... or simply put, constellations created by where stars aren't.

His idea began with the popular optical illusion of the vase/faces. He realized that so much is defined by the space and void around it-- the anti-matter, the shadow, the rest of the shape.

Applying that to the sky was simple. The eye is naturally trained to look at the stars, but with a slight perspective change Gary found he could focus instead on the space where there were no stars.

Gary is currently working on an illustrated book of new constellations from the perspective of void astronomy. It will change the way you look at the night.

Where Aren't They Now: 30

Erin taught herself to play guitar.

Erin is also deaf, but the first time she picked up an acoustic guitar it hardly mattered. She was very attuned to the vibrations in the string; she plucked out rhythms and chords that felt good to her fingertips.

She wasn't always deaf; she lost her hearing after some head trauma when she was 4. She has almost no memory of what hearing was like, but she is aware that her guitar playing has a different effect on other people than it does on herself.

Because Erin uses such a different technique to create music, her compositions sound like nothing else. They are unique and true to her, and there are a good deal of people who find her music very pleasurable. The songs sound very experimental, but not devoid of cadence and feeling.

New pictures!

Starting today, you'll see a slight shift in the pictures that are published here!

I used a full page of a generous donor's yearbook, but I ran out of pictures. I am now moving onto another benefactor's yearbook-- the pictures are slightly smaller and they're from an earlier year, so if things look a little different that's why.

Thank you to both people who have sent me yearbook pictures so far! I hope you're enjoying the project!

Where Aren't They Now: 29

Craig simply could not be impressed.

People tried! His parents were particularly diligent, sending Craig to Cirque du Soleil performances, monster truck rallies, historical re-enactments, you name it. Craig was not impressed by anything that he ever saw.

None of his other emotional faculties suffered. He was not a sociopath, he was not autistic. He expressed glee on his birthday! He cried when his sister needed surgery.
You should have seen his interpretation of Hamlet at the community arts center.

Only he could not be impressed. He visited all of the Wonders of the World-- even the ones that no longer existed, by virtue of a special virtual reality museum that was created in his name.

His story has been told in countless newspapers and on every major news network. When asked what he thought of his strange disorder, Craig is quoted as having said, "Eh. I guess it's fine. Nothing to write home about."

Where Aren't They Now: 28

Harold was once the reigning Dimple King of Schaumberg, and troubled was the head that wore the crown.

Harold's smile won people over when he was still in diapers, and when the local hardware store decided to hold a competition comparing dimpled children, Harold was a natural candidate. (The contest was in some way tied to a popular brand of staple gun, but no one much remembers the details. The endorsement was a stretch.)

Harold, then 6 years old, was an easy favorite of the judges' panel and handily won the competition. He spent much of his adolescence trying to shake the popularity that came with the much-coveted Dumpling King title.

He finally outgrew his dimples late in high school, but his title stuck. True, it opened many doors for Harold in the years to come and was quite the conversation piece on his résumé, but the effect on his self esteem was immeasurable.

Where Aren't They Now: 27

Joel is a die-hard Weird Al fan-- always has been, starting when his mother listened to Dr. Demento's radio show when Joel was only a child.

Joel is often teased about his admiration for the accordion-wielding parody king, but he finds solace in Yankovic's oeuvre. And not just the parodies, thank you very much-- some of Joel's favorites tunes are Al's original work, such as "She Never Told Me She Was a Mime," "Mr. Frump in the Iron Lung," or the pseudo-love ballad "Good Enough For Now."

Joel grew up knowing the parodies long before he ever knew the original songs, and still tends to sing along with the wrong version when stuck in elevators or at Applebee's. Once at a karaoke bar he even signed up for Don McLean's "American Pie," but instead sang all the words to the parody version "The Saga Begins."

Joel is downright proud to be an Al-coholic.



(Okay, okay, Joel is more than a little bit me. Happy 27th story, everybody.)