Where Aren't They Now: 72

Mars Franklin ate 49 eggs.


















This is a "lightning round" guest post by Ben Compton. See Monday's post for a better explanation of my cop out!

Where Aren't They Now: 71

Jimmy Williams-Chandler, made his first longboard out of his father's coffinwood and pure, American gumption. Went to Hawaii to teach people how to surf. Found true love while pretending to paddle out to catch a wave for an octogenarian named Milfred.














This is a "lightning round" guest post by Ben Compton. See Monday's post for a better explanation of my cop out!

Where Aren't They Now: 70

Cindy Catchersmith wouldn't shut up about her fucking horse.

















This is a "lightning round" guest post by Ben Compton. See Monday's post for a better explanation of my cop out!

Where Aren't They Now: 69

Charles Weatherheimer. Lost his right hand in a car accident when he was six. Got kicked out of cub scouts for telling the other kids that "god took my hand because of the terrible things I did amongst the Webelos."
















This is a "lightning round" guest post by Ben Compton. See Monday's post for a better explanation of my cop out!

Where Aren't They Now: 60

Annette is the daughter of a famous movie star.

You may know her mother from such diverse films as: Quantum of Solace, Pineapple Express, 30 Days of Night, and Memoirs of a Geisha. Who is this talented and diverse actress? You may know her best as the Columbia Pictures model, the iconic woman known best as the "Torch Lady".

Growing up, Annette was constantly reminded of her mother's incredible success with nearly every video rental or visit to the local multiplex. It drove her inner diva, desperately pushing her to depths of drama in an attempt to outshine her mother's work.

Currently, Annette is acting in an Off-Off-Broadway production of the hit musical Wicked. She plays Nessarose, the insecure Wicked Witch of the East.

This entry is a GUEST POST! Ryan Garwood is taking the reins today. If you'd like to write a guest post let me know and I'll send a picture your way!

Where Aren't They Now: 50

Skiff Smithison grew up in the hills of West Virginia, in a town called Switchcord Crossing, where his older brothers--he had four--passed down between them the art of the dirt bike. Skiff was on a bike by the time he was five, learning how to keep the bike under him, how not to fly over the handlebars by braking too hard.

And Skiff loved his dirt-bike.

By the time Skiff was in high school, his interest in dirt-biking had yet to wane, and he was gaining new interests. He loved to read, and could curl up with a good book on Dirt-Biking for hours. He began to sketch and paint, and soon learned the precise shade of brown that
most closely resembled the freshly churned dirt as it parabola'd through the air off the rear tire of his awesome electric blue 200cc Honda. He wrote bad high-school poetry for his bad high-school poetry
class:

O, how I love to study the species
With its lovely four strokes filling 200cc's
The future is now! It's the ADs, not BCs!
Alas, you may now, re: my nutz, suck on these, please.

Skiff wasn't much of a dirt-bike racer, nor were his older brothers. They preferred to roam the hills and hollers of Switchcord Crossing on trails they often cut themselves. One afternoon in the late summer haze, the brothers Smithison almost literally ran into a black bear, the encounter costing Skiff's older brother Reg his life--clogged square across the face by the angry ursus--and a panic-caused crash left Skiff without the use of his legs, paralyzed from the waist down.

Today Skiff works as a guidance counselor for Switchcord Crossing High School.

This entry is a GUEST POST! Ben Compton is taking the reins today. If you'd like to write a guest post let me know and I'll send a picture your way!

Where Aren't They Now: 40

Shreeveport was pretty much your average dood. He modeled his wit
after Kevin Bacon, and he modeled his hair after Kevin Costner. But
our dear Shreeveport had a personal secret, for years he woke up with
a long, wet purple ribbon strewn out across his bed. And every
morning, he embarrassingly would gather them into his backpack and
throw them into a dumpster on his walk to school. He was able to keep
these beautiful ribbons a secret until one fateful day when his father
had to sneak into Shreeveport's window after cheating on his mother.
To his horror he saw his sleeping son convulsing and shooting a long
ribbon from his mouth. He immediately showered, changed clothes, and
then called 911.

Years later Shreeveport is dealing with the disease. Doctors have
diagnosed it as Rheumatoid Night Ribbons and are working on
preventative medication. So far Shreeveport has tried the following drugs, with little success:

Plexowim (side effects may include ankle wristing, ear husks and in rare cases bowel monsoons.)

Seudocrod (side effects may include sports breath, vase jumping and in rare cases anne b. davis eyes.)



This entry is a GUEST POST! Evan Oliver is taking the reins today. If you'd like to write a guest post let me know and I'll send a picture your way!