Where Aren't They Now: 47

Shawn has spent the last 2.5 years convincing people he cannot use the letter "z."

Yes, he took his inspiration from part of a Monty Python sketch. When his parents forced him to transfer in the middle of his sophomore year of high school, the only way he could cope was to have some fun with it.

It has taken more dedication than he would have guessed, but Shawn has neither written nor spoken the letter "z" since the transfer. His diligent work has finally paid off-- he is giving the salutatorian speech at graduation, and he's going to amaze the entire student body with his miraculous recovery.

Where Aren't They Now: 46

Patrice doesn't realize there's something in her hair.

Throughout the day, people have made gestures of varying degrees of subtlety, trying to let her know that there's some... gunk... in her hair.

If she knew it was there, she wouldn't be able to tell you what it was. She would try to remember if there had been a food fight or a silly-string war sometime over the day, but surely that would leap to mind, right? No, nothing would ring a bell.

In reality, it was a prank by a classmate, who assumed Patrice would find it right away. However, due to people's indirectness posed as politeness, no such luck.

Where Aren't They Now: 45

Sherry doesn't believe in food expiration dates. At worst, the food that has "expired" simply becomes a new food, or at least has a new use.

She has been known to eat something well past its date, and is particularly fond of eating around the mold on old bread. (She picked this up from an ex-boyfriend who detested the idea of waste. After all, if you can see the mold... then you know where the mold isn't.)

Where Aren't They Now: 44

Annie has been known to refuse discounts.

It bothers her that two people can pay such radically different prices on the same object, simply because one has a coupon. She stands on an odd principle that everyone should pay the original price on any given item, whether or not it's the President's Day Weekend Blowout Sale-a-bration.

Where Aren't They Now: 43

Mabel is as skilled an understudy as they come, though one of her biggest fears is actually being called on-stage.

She has understudied for huge parts and big names. She memorizes entire choreography repertoires and learns every word of the Shakespearean monologues that might some day-- God forbid-- become her own to perform.

Mabel typically works with the biggest attention whores in the industry, as they're the ones most loathe to share the limelight. While many understudies step in for weekend matinées or the occasional weeknight performance, Mabel ducks the opportunities as often as possible.

When the absolute need arises for someone to step in-- an injury on stage, say, or a last-minute illness-- she's ready and willing. But overall, Mabel is simply there for the theater ambiance. Her best friends are theater folk, and she loves listening to the performances night after night from her place in the wings.

New challenge/cry for help

Happy Sunday, dear Where Aren't They Now readers! All... dozen of you!

That's what I'd like to talk to you about. I've written 40+ stories so far, but I have some pretty dismal readership. I'm talking numbers here-- those of you who DO read leave awesome feedback and comments. About 4 of you even rate the stories, which I appreciate so much!

Still, I'd love to see if I can pump those numbers up. I'm not ready to shut down the blog yet, but perhaps it's time for another challenge?

Challenge: convince a few people to read the blog. Right now I have 12 readers through the feed-- I'd like to make that 20 by the end of the week. If you like the stories... if you find them funny or interesting or amusing in any way... tell a friend! (And if I can't get 8 more freakin' people to read this blog, perhaps I need to evaluate my stance as a writer.)

I'll post another Young Erica picture + story here if we can make it to 20+.

Note: if you read this blog but not through a feed reader, leave a comment on this post and tell me so. Merci!

Where Aren't They Now: 42

Meister has been called "Meister" so long he can hardly remember his own name (which he never shares).

It started in middle school football, when such nicknames tend to form. If you're a guy and you don't go by your last name, you get something vaguely masculine like Champ or Hambone. Meister got Meister.

It fits him. It's like he's been crowned the master of something, but he's not sure what. Everything, maybe. Meister of the Universe. World Meister.

He's nervous about getting a job because he knows that they'll want his real birth name which is nowhere near as cool. He wonders if he can walk in and say, "Hello, my name is ----- ------, but folks call me Meister"?