Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Where Aren't They Now: 40

Shreeveport was pretty much your average dood. He modeled his wit
after Kevin Bacon, and he modeled his hair after Kevin Costner. But
our dear Shreeveport had a personal secret, for years he woke up with
a long, wet purple ribbon strewn out across his bed. And every
morning, he embarrassingly would gather them into his backpack and
throw them into a dumpster on his walk to school. He was able to keep
these beautiful ribbons a secret until one fateful day when his father
had to sneak into Shreeveport's window after cheating on his mother.
To his horror he saw his sleeping son convulsing and shooting a long
ribbon from his mouth. He immediately showered, changed clothes, and
then called 911.

Years later Shreeveport is dealing with the disease. Doctors have
diagnosed it as Rheumatoid Night Ribbons and are working on
preventative medication. So far Shreeveport has tried the following drugs, with little success:

Plexowim (side effects may include ankle wristing, ear husks and in rare cases bowel monsoons.)

Seudocrod (side effects may include sports breath, vase jumping and in rare cases anne b. davis eyes.)

This entry is a GUEST POST! Evan Oliver is taking the reins today. If you'd like to write a guest post let me know and I'll send a picture your way!


Ryan said...

I give it a 5 for the name alone

Ambrosia said...

The name was pretty awesome!